Doctor: “Ayan na! malapit na nakikita ko na yung ulo!”
Me: “SINUNGALINGGGG!!!! Pano mo nakita?!!!!...(and then hagulgol, I bawled) eh ang liit liit lang doon…huhuhu”
I wasn’t being dumb :D I was terrified, having an emotional breakdown, and was in denial. :D I gave three resident doctors plus my doctor a really hard time. I was crying a lot, and wasn’t cooperating. After 17 hours, they tied my hands and feet to the bed to keep me still.
Before I checked myself in at the hospital, I thought I was ready. I heard stories of friends who said their baby was out in an hour, that it wasn’t so hard, not with epidural anesthesia, and they were even telling jokes with the doctors during the delivery.
I thought my experience would be something like that. But it wasn’t.
No I didn’t feel comfortable that my ass was showing from the back of the gown. And everytime they came to me for I.E. I squirmed, kicked and had tears in my eyes.
“Wag mo kami sipain” they would kindly tell me.
“sorry doc, Hindi ko mapigilan” I would sob. :) I hate I.E. I have erased all their faces from my memory :D I know it was all standard procedure but somehow my mind was screaming “GANG RAPE! GANG RAPE!”
By hour 10, I was tired, thirsty, hungry and getting more upset. Anesthesia couldn’t block my emotions lol. I wasn’t being malicious. I was just really feeling uneasy with everything. AKO NA reyna ng reklamo :D
I tried to think positive when they said I could start pushing the baby out already.
“Sige umire ka na” the doctor who sat by my right told me.
“UHHHHHH….IHHHHHH….EHHHHH…RRRRR.” I grunted.
The doctor tapped me by the shoulder and smiled “ah.. hindi ka umiire…nag iingay ka lang”
I apologized ” sorry doc, ganun ba, parang di ako marunong…paano ba?”
and she answered “umire ka lang…yung parang natatae…”
“parang natatae, doc? ah…ok…marunong ako nun” I said.
Sure enough, MARUNONG NGA AKO. ;/
It was my turn to tap the doctor by the shoulder “doc….sorry… natae ata ako”
They had to clean me up.
I was MORTIFIED (to the highest power). I knew these things can happen, sana hindi sa akin, hindi bagay lol :D (eww pero sorry I didn’t keep this info to myself. I was in a tough situation. Happy mother’s day!)
We all fell asleep for a while by around the 14-15th hour sa pagod. I swear natulog sa sahig yung isang resident doc. And by 16th hour I was crying so hard again and begging for a C-section.
Three of them had their hands weighing down on my stomach, which was already black and blue, pasa pasa na talaga.
I punched their hands, crying, wailing “Bulag ka ba?! hindi mo ba nakita pasa pasa na ako!! WAAAAH!!!!” “AYOKO NA UMIRE!”
I guess that’s about the time they decided to tie me to the bed. :) Ang sweet ko. :)
By hour 18, THEY pushed Czesca out. 2:45 am. She was this tiny little thing.
Today, 7 years after. She’s my little star. She’s worth all that day’s drama. (I wonder if the doctors remember me, Im pretty sure they hated me :D Im sorry. Hindi naman ako ganun sa ordinary days. :) )
So far, I think Im doing a hell of an okay job as a mom, but what this story reminds me is that I DON’T DO IT ALL BY MYSELF. :) We have others to thank for; God, our family, our partners, friends, etc.
MARAMING SALAMAT TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HELPED ME AND OTHERS BECOME THE MOTHERS OUR DAUGHTER/SON/CHILDREN NEEDS EVERYDAY.
Happy Mother’s Day to moms everywhere, whatever your stories may be :)